ASK ELVIS!

Yes, it's our latest feature here at Jer's Spork in the Road! I have uncovered completely conclusive and utterly convincing evidence that Elvis walks among us! He has an e-mail address!! Yes, that's right, and with his permission, I'm putting up this page so you can ask any question you want! (In case you're wondering why you never see him, he wears a bald cap as a disguise. Go figure.) Ask a question and he may ask me to post it here and answer it! What have you got to lose? So click here to...

ASK ELVIS!!!

Dear King,
What's your opinion on Micheal Jackson? When did the aliens return you? Inquiring minds want to know.

Dear sir, I wish Michael Jackson was a hunka hunka burnin' somethin'. I don't see what he sees in ma little Lisa Marie--she's no 5-year-old boy!
About the aliens, well, I don't know. See, the last thing I remember, I was fat, bloated and sittin' on the turlet, then suddenly I'm in this little mall in Canada, Polo Park, I think, wearin' a really itchy bald cap and some security guard's yellin' at me fer bein' in the fountain. I think that was 1995 or 96. --Elvis

Does Elvis have leg hair?

Elvis declined to answer this question without consent of his lawyer, who answered with the following prepared statement:
"YES! And you can buy some today! Just send your credit card number and address to the owner of this page, a legal Elvis Hair (tm) salesperson! (Warning--credit card information may be sent to all people on the salesperson's e-mail address book.)"

Keep those questions a-comin'!